down...

down...

ok... yesh i've been feeling really down this past week... i feel like all the confidence i've ever had is slipping away... i feel as though i'm all broken up inside... but i know i can survive. i know my wounds will heal... it jus takes time... i nid more happiness... (oh n more $ too, pls! hee...)

明知道会后悔的事，就不应该去做。
我想，我不只伤害了自己，也伤害了他。

i'm back!!!

i'm back!!!

woo.. m finally back in sinapore! =) great to be home! did ya all miss mi?! hee hee... beijing is wonderful if u take away the hot weather, horribly salty food, bad air, lousy traffic, and enormous amounts of walking... loved the shopping! ^^

watch out for fotoz when i m free enough to upload n post! =)

没有时间了

我想我真得很失败。
两年前，我以为我还有很多时间。

直到最近我才发现，
时间已经过了那么多。
直到最近我才发现，
情况似乎和当时一样。
直到最近我才发现，
原来已经没有那么多时间了。。。

我要怎么做，才能让时间停止？

h11 comp room

met a nice gentleman in the hall 11 computer room... (was too bored in the room watching CNA... but the aircon here is down...) we chatted abit, and erm... he sorta tried to know me... but i have a hard time catching what he was trying to say.. i think it's cos of the accent... he gave me his email address but of cos i don't intend to email him or anything... think i wont use the comp room tt often to see him anyway... (i hope!) it sure is wierd being in a dark comp room with someone i jus met barely an hour ago and asking about what i feel as a singaporean and how would i feel to actually go out on the road with a negro like him... i m not being racist (i am not!) but it jus feels wierd... maybe cos i m too shy.. he's over 10 yrs older than me! and i dun exactly feel charmed by someone who's "determined, courageous, and humble" (that's what he says...)

ok.. not a very good way to speak of someone i jus met... he's a nice guy lah... with much wisdom... (k lah.. i m stupid...) glad to have met such an interesting person here in hall 11... =)


I don't know what I should do... would it be better to be kept as a secret? Is it really just admiration and not fondness? I just learnt something today... "first admiration, then like, and finally love"

Brainies outing!!!!

Brainies Outing!!!

Finally! the long awaited brainies trip!!! =) joyce looks so skinny after she came back from her london trip (jealous!) AND before tt, her korea trip (MORE jealous)... Clare went london too, and Janey maybe going HK (jealous!!!!!) while poor me will melt in Beijing soon... haha... okok... Beijing is good enuff... seems like there's so much stuff for mi to prepare for my first ever china trip, and my first ever airplane ride! feeling bit lazie... haha... first i nid to move hall first! hee hee...

The pretty brainies!!!! *muacks* i lurve ya all darlings!!!

Janey is SOOOO cute!!!! her HUGE eyes with our yuen yang bing! ^^

Hey joyce u r supposed to make a funny face!!! =P

mi n joyce's shoes... wad can i say? great minds think alike! =D

Janey's lok kok shoe with a HOLE!!! (and her ankle socks... she insists on getting them into the photo! haha)

The ghostly brainies..... gonna miss ya all!!!

Till we meet again!!! muacks!!!!

lala!!!

hihi... k i realised i m so lazie when it comes to blogging... hahaz... paiseh lah... i AM lazie i admit it...

wooow so fast n i'm left with abt a mth of school hols... minus CO trip, minus moving hall, minus CO practs (if i turn up)... oh... like nt much time left... sianz... i haven really got to enjoy n hols is almost over?! sigh...

thanks darling brainies... miss ya all so much... joyce u back in sgp le? m so jealous!!! i oso wish to go London n Korea! sniff sniff... n janey oso nv chio mi go out... must be too bz rite!? haha... watashiwa oso really rotting at home... hee... the only person i really go out with is Elaine lor... she's the one who's dragging mi out of the comfort of my rotting in my cosy little hdb flat... haha... but den.. without her i guess i would spend even more time rotting and will be even more "no life"... haha... okok thanks darling elaine... =) *muacks*

C.O. has bin... haiz... i dunno how to say it... i guess i m dreading the travelling... i m so darn lazie lah... i hate leaving home to go for CO... (no like anyone there misses my company...) but i guess it's ok during practice... hmmmph... but liddat i will miss my superband!!! argh... i lurve soul n j3... hopefully juzB or milupin cums back this wk... =)

ai qing mo fa shi is nice! but too similar to wang zi bian qing wa... n my mom loves goong... she can watch n rewatch n not get bored... hahaz...

ok... say i m bored, cos i m, blogging twice in a nite... i cant find better things to do... and being online is... well, shld i say rare for mi... n i still dunno wad to do! haha... talking on msn... a fav pasttime of so many ppl i noe... is becoming v depressing for mi...

k lah... sorry for darlings angeline, yiing and elaine... well, who else talks on msn with mi lor? sometimes i dun c the point of going online to "talk" when we c each other so often (?)
haiz... say i m wierd... i come on msn... maybe i m looking for someone to chit chat, but well... it makes me feel all the more sianz.... sry darlings again... hahaz...

hmmm... sometimes i wonder why m i who i m? why m i not like the people i noe? why do i feel like i have frenz, but i still feel lonely all the same? i dunno who i can find when i nid a talk... i dunno who i can find to accompany me through the lonely nights in hall... i dunno who i can find if i jus wish to chill out... i dunno who to call when i feel like talking... perhaps i feel that i m worthy of noone's attention... i dunno.... why shld anyone bother abt mi?

M.i.A.-ing

yoho... bin mia for v long... since end of DIP... have bin rotting at home... very sianz very bored... but interestingly, i am enjoying it quite abit... hee hee... ok so i AM a pig...

well... sometimes i think i am tt type of person who can jus stay cut off from the world... i jus nid to stay at home... hee... no job no money but it's ok... i dun really wan to go out too... no money to spend, no where to go and nobody to go with... haha... i jus get this feeling that noone misses mi jus as i miss noone... (isolating myself) (hee)

ok... but think cos home has so many people... mommy is at home everyday now... so yesh, home's very noisy everyday... *she can scream at so many things i m so amazed by her... oh i used the wrong word... it's *annoyed... haha...

k... i wan to get a job, but i m like onlie free for... hmmm... i cant even say a mth... with the CO china trip rite in the mid of my remaining hols... haiz... i'll try looking for temp or one-off job k? any lobang?

what do you do when you feel lonely? what is it like to fall in love? what is it like to get used to life with a special someone?

maybe i dun look like that kind... but i do get lonely.... sometimes...

morning!!!

yoho! DIP is ending soon!!! after this presentation... hee...

dunno how cum become the presenter for the other grp... haiz... tot can slack but seems no.. haha... after this can go out play (finally)... hee

yesterday went out with elaine... went bugis walk walk... super alot of pple!!! argh... tried to find the mei tt peishi darling bought... but there r so many shops there i really dunno which one got... in the end oso cannot find the special "korean mei"... n the weather so super hot i cant stand it... wahahahahaha... so in the end anyhow buy mei... hee... okok... i m lousy...

den i went home with elaine... she wanna watch goong... den suddenly got fever... n feel v hot n sick for the rest of the nite... haiz... but now ok liaoz lah... hopefully... hee... today came to lab early to perpare for the presentation but seems like i'm too early haha... k lah... they nid time to warm up i guess... wateva...

shall go back to emm... preparing... hahaz... wish mi luck!

DIP...

boo! DIP has been, literally - horrible! argh... first was being "thrown" into the project with no guidance what-so-ever from the prof, next came our hopes of several highly ambitious ideas which the lab techs confirmed we will NEVER get it done by the short span of 5 weeks.... when we finally decided on what to do, (thanks to the lab techs for helping us find ideas) we face the huge hurdle of ASSEMBLY language... argh... the only parts i guess i enjoyed was the shopping at Sim Lim for components and motor (oh i think we got cheated... the motor cost us $15!!)

we finally got our hardware done (almost) - hopefully by tomorrow.. haha.. now the big problem is... our propeller clock can't exactly do a clock display right now (problems with programming a clock...) haiz... i can imagine how our project will turn out... haiz... (not to mention the other 2 groups in the lab seems to be so pro...)

okok... too late le.. lab tech chasing us out liao.. ciaoz~~~

holidays??

yoho! hey ppl! ok so was missing in action for quite a while... last entry was hmm... sad... but hey ppl i'm hmmm better (?) already... minus the fact that i screwed up my last 2 papers *esp the last one* haiz...

okok... long story (not really) but my mommy got into hospital on last tues nite den i only got to know it at like 7am wed morning... so i onlie effectively slept for 4 hrs for tt paper (yawnz)... den i went to the hospital to pei my mommy after my wed paper and also spent the day there on thurs... den my fri paper was... haiz... now REALLY must pray very hard for tt... okok... my own fault actually.. not exactly no time or hospital is a bad place to study but more like i got no mood to study at all... argh... i ended up "blanking out" haiz... wad a failure i m...

anw, mommy bin out of hospital since sat... so not to worry darlings... but i bin accompanying her everyday everywhere, so i dun really have a life rite now so sorry ppl... hospital, clinic, hougang mall... my latest hangouts... n the wonderful thing is mommy only goes to super exciting places like her favourite NTUC n market... while everytime i spot any thing i wan to c she'll drag mi away with "dun waste time". haiz... so u can guess how entertained i m everyday, everywhere with mommy... k lah tt's such a boring story... maybe after she feels better n not giddy anymore den i can jio u all go out! =) remember me hor! hee...

holiday ending liaoz... argh n i haven even went out to play at all!!!! argh... but these days i bin at home n guess wad i bin doing??? wahahahahaha... PS games n PC games! cool xia... but STILL... i cant stand the connection... kips dcing how i play my maple? (haha.. i think i have no rite to complain... but well...) hee =P next i wanna watch GONG (palace) the korean show adapted fr this korean comic which i like quite a bit... =) anyone got?? *hint hint*

DIP starting next monday... left 3 more days to play (or slave)...

miss ya all darlings... *muacks*

feeling super down...

i dunno y i'm feeling so sad... i jus feel like crying my heart out...

so many things have happened recently. both happy and sad things... suddenly i feel that i dun exactly know the people around me... i guess i'm not as close as i think i m to my frenz... it hurts to c a really close fren being so sad, but i cant bring myself to ask... dun think i'm meant to know... but it hurts my heart... it hurts jus as bad to realise certain events only after it had happened... when noone ever said anything how m i supposed to know? *haiz* maybe it's all my fault...

i tell myself there's nth to worry abt, and there's nth i can do... but it doesnt stop the unease in my heart... sometimes i jus feel like giving up the exams... how can i try to study while i know she's in pain? how can i fuss abt idiot stuff like transformers when all i want is to be with her, make sure she is nt lost in the hosp, understands what the docs r talking abt, is taking her medicine on time, eating her meals on time, getting enuff sleep... i jus hate myself!

i dun like being hall alone either... it makes me feel so lonely i feel like crying all i can... i feel like using up all the tears i have so tat i will nv have to cry again... sometimes i wish i can find someone to cry to... i guess i'm tried trying to kip the "happy sheya" in front of everyone... but i dun like the idea of spoiling everyone's mood...

- jus let me cry... it'll be over soon -

exam alert!

Examz in LESS than TWO weeks!!! jiayou everyone!!
jiayou to those having their examz earlier den mi too! esp to claris n joyce darling... JIAYOU!

ok... bin missing in action for very long again... sorry sorry... bin lazie n my lappie went for a holiday at eight flags again... haha... den after it came back it lost all its memory so i have bin busy looking for ways to help it regain its past memories... ok... i m jus crapping... it got a new harddisk liaoz... dunno to be happy or sad, but at least i have got back most of my stuff so it's ok... =)

cant wait for examz to be over! (it has nt even started!) i am gonna start camping in hall from tonite onwards.... oh tt means ANOTHER FOUR WEEKS before i go home! i duno if i can tahan tt long... i cant imagine mi eating FOUR whole WEEKS of canteen food... ARGHhhhhhh... ahhhhhhh.... help mi! (pss.. i jus spent quite some $$ stocking up food... choc, sweets, biscuits, cup mee... i dun think i will die out tt fast! hee hee)

okok... i shldnt be wasting time here act... but feel so sianz hall alone so i decided to come complain... gotta go off to MUG for tmr's quiz (quiz again!) so tada! buaiz n wish mi luck! =)

Woo Hoo! back in Action!

yo ho! yiing complains i m still stuck at CNY! hahaz.. okok.. so here i m.. FINALLY updating my dearie blog.. haven bin blogging... almost forgot how to log in! haha..

NTUCO concert was a WOO HOO! FULL HOUSE! *phew* lucky me.. thanks to everyone who made the MirAcLe Happen! thanks to my darling eLaIne and my dear sis for cuming to support! =) next up: NTUCO Beijing trip in July! =) cant wait cant wait!!! *SL! miss ya alot woo...* hee hee...

my darling Xuan oso leaving for switzerland soon... sob sob... *jealous* can u pack mi into your luggage so tt i can go too?! =) hee hee... okok... i'll miss u! *muacks* *muacks*

CO has bin taking so much of my time tt i almost got no life... FINALLY concert is over (FULL HOUSE!) and guess wad? it's time for quizes quizes plus... the huge EXAMx! haiz... sigh...time to start mugging le lor.. jus realised exams iz.. 4 weeks away... haiz... everyone, JIAYOU! =)

i cant wait to go out with everyone again after this irritating busy period! darlings! must jio mi go out after exams k?! *muacks*! =)

HAPPY CNY!

yo! yeah~ very very long never blog le... almost forgot how to do it! wahahahaha... i know u all miss mi so much!!! *muacks*

HAPPY CNY!

i lurve cny hols really.. the only days i m "CO free" and can sleep sleep sleep and eat eat eat... haha... hope u all enjoyed your cny too! =)

my days r still like usual... packed with CO CO and more CO... so everyone! March 4th (sat), 730pm, Singapore Conference Hall... $10 per tix! buy more buy more! (ps: watashiwa is ticketing officer ok... hint hint)

will still be really busy for all the weeks until after the CO concert i guess.. haiz... jiayou jiayou! i'll be drowned with quizes, lab report, ticketing booth, school visits, CO, more ticketing work etc... so pls pardon mi... will try to go out after the concert ok!? =) hee... in the meantime... buy tickets from mi!!! wahahahaha...

yah... i'm really missing the usual ktv sessions and yummy food we all go out to eat together... (jus ate like siao last nite at chomp chomp followed by late nite mahjong... *yawnz*) meet out soon, darlings! *muacks*

sick.. again...

*sneeze* *sneeze* *cough* *cough* *sniff* *sniff*

haven blogged for like forever... have been too busy (or lazy) to read others too.. sorry sorry... m so utterly sick... =( and have been sick all the while... esp since mid dec... food poisoning followed by sore throat and now cough cough --> cough + flu ---> cough + flu + fever... okok... paiseh nth but complaints... but life has bin bad...

too much CO and too little rest. too much sickness and too little play. haiz... m now waiting for 2pm to come so i can go visit the school doctor... haven bin sleeping well for the past two nites... tues nite was spent coughing away violently and last nite i was so cold i think i almost froze to death... =( fever last nite + long long comm meeting + heavy rain... (almost killed mi..) haiz all the bad things all happen at the same time. sob... sorry darlings this whole post is nth but complaints... but perhaps this will continue till after the NTUCO concert... the ticketing comm is taking up way too much of my time too haiz...

oh yes darlings.. can PLEASE buy tickets from mi??? PLEASE~~~ will be held at Singapore Conference Hall on 4th March, 730pm. tix at $10. desperately nid to sell tickets... try ya best k??? muacks!

BINTAN paradise!!!

YO!!!!! I M BACK!!!!

yah yah... I noe u all miss me LOTS while i spend my last weekend in BINTAN!!! whaahahahahaz... I LOVE BINTAN! nice sea, nice beach, nice hotels + service, nice LOBSTER, nice mangroves(?), nice SUITE room and most importantly nice darlings xuan and elaine!!!

even though it's a rather short(very) trip, i really enjoyed myself there!!! spent abt S$300 (wow!!) so now i m in the "recuperation period" - no more shop shop eat eat... hahaz... let's c how i spent such a wonderful time in BINTAN!!!

sat 3rd dec

woke up at 630am (yawnz)... ferry left sgp at 915am, reached bintan abt 55min ltr... but cos of the time diff, it's STILL 9plus... hahaz... so this 3 young sgp gals arrived at NIRWANA RESORTS HOTEL and were really sad tt we can check in only fr 3pm... haiz... so we checked out the tours we had in mind... Tanjong Uban and Mangrove tour... n realised (to our horror!) that... 1. mangrove tour all fully booked for the day! so we booked the tour for the nex day... 2. Tanjong Uban tour fully booked for the day... n if we go for the tour the nex day we dunno wad to do for the rest of the day! hahaz... so we hired a taxi tour ($55 - Tanjong Uban, 4 hrs)... Taxi driver made us feel like real taitai'z!!! he chauffeured us ard,waited for us while we had lunch or went shopping and always opened the door for us to get in or out!!! and he brought us to a nice kelong seafood restaurant where we had BUTTERFRIED LOBSTER!!! yum yum.. i LOVE lobsters!

wow tt's alot of words... take ur time to digest... anw, we went back to the hotel at 3+ and then guess wad?! we got a free upgrade to SUITE room (cos the housekeeping staff were too slow... our rm was nt ready yet) and the 3 of us jus went GAGA... and started messing ard in the rm! hahaz... the rm was jus WONDERFUL! HUGE HUGE HUGE!!!! 4 poster BED! revolving TV! balcony with great seaview and huge cushion! nice huge sofa and armchair, dining table!!!! I LOVE MY ROOM!!!

then there's the jacuzzi pool (woooooooooo....) and believe it or not, there's a BAR in the swimming pool!!! so relaxing to sip some shirley temple or fruit cocktail while taking a break fr the swimming...

dinner was really romantic... but the funny thing is the 3 of us romancing tog... hahaz... but the food was really good anw.... cakes cakes cakes!

sun 4th dec

nice but HOT weather... after breakfast, we bathed (each taking turns in the wonderful bathtub) and checked out, den we headed for the mangrove tour!!! i really love the mangrove tour act... first time ever! the motor boat ride was exciting! the scenary was really beautiful and even though it was such a hot day, the sea breeze really cools u down and as we enter the mangrove swamps it gets more shady... elaine was jus so happy (and snappy... her camera nv had a chance to rest) to c all those mangrove trees and their roots... (oh wad can i say abt our ace geog undergrad...) while xuan likes the wind but finds the trees boring (she admits she's nt a nature person)... but I love the wind AND the wonderful scenery and the feeling of nature... (i tot i wld be freaked out.. u noe i'm darn scared of any creature tt can move..) well... i really loved the tour! first time ever i felt like i might like nature~ hahaz... but den again... most prob nope... hee...

the evening was spent relaxing (?!) with a wonderful body massage (ouch...) followed by a romantic (again?) steamboat dinner at the poolside restaurant... THAT was really yummy! =) i lurve steamboat!!

then we sorta took a nap at the hotel lobby while waiting for the bus to the ferry terminal... (yawnz... the massage was too wonderful.. and sleep inducing) we gt to the bintan ferry terminal at 730pm (bintan time) and then there was alot of delay before the ferry finally left... bad news was... the waves were really strong tt nite... *giddy* but elaine was worst hit... she was really sick by the violent "turbulence" (shld i call them tt?) but luckily we came back safe and sound (but pretty tired, sleepy and giddy...)

paiseh... i dun hav pictures to put up yet... and i can imagine i will be pretty Lazy to do so! hahaz... so there... i guessed i gave a pretty good breakdown of the wonderful BINTAN trip~~ for pictures, pls refer to darling elaine's blog.... =) when's the next bintan trip???

Bintan Bintan here i cum!!!

yay! tmr is THE DAY!!!

finally!!! bin waiting and waiting so long for this day... BUT... somehow i m feeling bit empty... nao dai kong kong de... how? i dunno wad to pack, i dunno wads the plan tmr... haiz... i dun feel like packing anything, i dun feel like doing anything tmr... i cant imagine myself catching the ferry early in the morning at 8plus!!!! have been waking up "early in the morning" at 12plus everyday.. and on LUCKY days, 11 plus... hahaz... wadeva... haiz... okok... i shld try to get my brain working and figure out wad's going to happen tmr... hahaz... =)

jiayou! 3 more to kill!

yes! left with 3 more papers to kill nex wk.. jiayou! cant wait for hols! =)

have been watching more than mugging (as usual...) there's so much to watch after hols!! er zuo ju zhi wen + hana yori dango (meteor garden - the new jap version!) + lv guang sen lin + yummy yummy + chiong shang yun xiao + xin niang 18 sui... plus plus plus... tt's y haven been blogging... haha... watch watch watch...

going bintan on 3th and 4th! (yay!) but will be missing out on yan yan's b-day party! =( haiz... nelles - enjoy urselves without mi den! (*pouts*)... i cant wait to go ktv after exams! hee hee... but seems like everyone finish earlier than mi! (sobz..) okok... go ahead without me.. but make sure u all "pu chang" and go again with mi! hee hee...

cant wait to watch harry potter too! hee hee... maybe after elaine end her exams. =) xuan's starting work! jiayou gal! bintan bintan bintan! =) okok.. i ought to get back to maths - prob and stats (sianz...) until fri i'll be FREE! jiayou jiayou jiayou!

miss ya, xiao laopo!! *muacks* miss the brainies too!! *muacks* *muacks* *muacks*