The story behind the piece of paper…

Here's the story behind that piece of paper that caused yaya so much $$ and headache... Yaya once thought she should just give up trying...

If you have not heard the disaster with Car 206 in yaya’s first attempt, click here. Basically, yaya was so gan jiong that she couldn’t pull the handbrake while on the slope, striked kerb (x3) during parallel parking and directional change, and mounted kerb at vertical parking. Halleluyah…

The night before the second attempt, yaya had the 闲情逸致 to drink 花茶. Ended up yaya stayed awake for the whole night, woke up late on the 2^nd morning, took bus 81 (saw it as 51), only realized her mistake after the bus went on the expressway, hurriedly alighted, hopped on a taxi and arrived late for warm-up. During the test, yaya started the car, stepped on BRAKE (instead of accelerator) and wondered why the car didn’t move (= delay in moving off, 2 points). Yaya mounted kerb again while turning in the narrow road to do parallel parking. Sianz… Whatever happened after that was due to the “die liao heck care” attitude.

Yaya didn’t manage to book an earlier test (this one is 5 months after no. 2) because she happily went to Niagara Falls & NYC! Anyway, the third attempt was at a 430pm slot (warning! BUS LANE hours) cos yaya was pek chek when everytime she went to the CDC counter there’s only 830am or 430pm slots left! Although Yaya had LOTS of sleep the previous night after what happened in no. 2 and an almost perfect warm-up, she cui-ed during vertical parking cos the car refused to get into the lot and yaya’s correction c.m.i. Yaya politely asked to re-try the vertical parking and this time round it went in straight in one attempt! (Yay!) And the tester said “Sorry, you’ve exceeded the time limit.” (dotzzz.. WHY is that an immediate failure!?!) And even though Yaya had failed already, the tester brought her out and went a HUGE round outside. And cos the traffic conditions were so horrible at 5pm, yaya could not change lane and somemore kana horn-ed at by some cruel idiot. *sigh*

Luckily Yaya took the lesson from no. 3 and booked a test slot at the optimum time of 155pm this time round. But the storm came before she left the house for warm-up. So yaya mournfully walked out and decided to take a taxi (in case she is late cos of the rain). In the end the taxi took her a huge round (went all way to potong pasir and up expressway before going to paya lebar) and made her so freaked out she’s going to be late even after taking taxi! Luckily, she arrived on time. Guess what? It’s our old friend 206 again! This time round, 206 gave yaya a roll backwards on the slope (cos yaya didn’t make very good relations with the handbrake again) and the engine stalled when yaya was going to turn back into the driving centre! yaya’s legs must have turned jelly after such a “safe” test!

Ta-da!!! Yaya Finally PASSED! (with 2 demerit points only – for that rollback!)

Phew… Come to think of it… Yaya feels like a good driver… Just that she gets gan jiong once the tester is around. Testers should be more friendly, right?! WHY make yaya so scared of them every test? The tester who passed yaya gave her the results slip and shooed her away without talking to her! While yaya was totally freaking out (what if the tester gave me many many small small points) cos the tester DIDN’T say a word! Heng... no need for any more driving tests le... Hurray!

迷失

人生，不可能永远一帆风顺。
我懂，但也往往会为了生命中的不如意感到气馁。

挫折、迷惘、失望、渴望，失去、后悔。。。
我累了。我已迷失了方向，不知该往哪走。

有时候，我好想变成一个自私的人。

有些事，是永远无法选择的。
有些洞，是永远无法填满的。
有些梦，是永远无法实现的，
有些错，是永远无法学乖的。
有些伤，是永远无法痊愈的。

The sweetest smile

yaya bought a new toy - the C peel from someone on hwz.

Just about 25 hours after the collection, the seller smsed:
"By the way, you have the sweetest smile last night, i hope you don't mind if i tell you so, can't take it off my mind, sorry..."

OMG?! It was a mere 5 minute encounter! Creeps...

Luckily he is not the persistent type =P

I'm having fun with my toy otherwise. *winks*

PS: Beer + Champagne is a potent combination. Best not to try again.

Feelings from the past...

或许是迟来的感慨，但心里还是放不下。

点点滴滴的回忆，不断地在我脑海里浮现。
快乐与悲伤仍记忆犹新。

时间，改变了一切。
但过去的感受与现在的心情交错着，让我傻傻分不清。

我心里的阴暗，也许才是最真实的。
就算一时忘了，那也不过是短暂的。

我到底在想什么？ 我想我快要疯了。

it's so complicated....

I didn't meant to make any decisions so complicated, but sometimes it just becomes so.
I wish all questions are just yes and no. Answer it, and move on.
But somehow I find myself playing the "roti-prata" game (a phrase learnt from Vince when he referred to yj as the "roti-prata girl") - changing my mind every other day.
Why am I making my life so difficult?

When I was young, my dream was to "be able to just walk into a shop and buy what I like, without worrying where the money come from". Now I have the ability to do that, but I start to think "Can I afford to pay the bill next month?" or "Is this the best way to spend my money?" or "Should I buy A or B or C or D? Or wait till E comes?"

We are confronted with choices every day. Do they put you in a dilemma?
Sianz. I don't even know what I want to do with my life.

说不出的软弱

沉浸在美丽的童话梦境
无法逃出最真实的曾经

不想期待却又抵挡不住
渴望坚强却仍软弱无助

现实里只存在无比空虚
梦境里就算虚无但丰富

未来没有虚幻也无曾经
现实与梦境经已分不清

another long period of absence

I wanted to blog about my Taiwan and HK trips, but somehow the blogging never started. The HK photos are still "in the midst of uploading to FB". It's not easy to filter 2,800 photos from 2 cameras after all. Pei Shi and I really made full use of our digital cameras. =P

After many months of absence from blogging, my life is, sadly, very much the same as before. Tonight, after watching my daily dose of drama (currently Secret Garden in Korean), I finally gave my blog a little makeover and start to type the first entry after months of missing in action. There's just too much I want to grumble, but I guess those are too mundane and un-interesting. So, I shall tell the story of how I failed my TP test last week (sigh) to whoever has not heard it yet. The story goes like this...

1. Slope > handbrake refused to be released. yaya struggled (both hands) with the handbrake for 5 min while the tester looked on. When the handbrake finally went down, all confidence disappeared and the hands feel numb.
2. Directional change > Tester: your front wheel touched the kerb. yaya: no feeling at all.
3. Parallel Parking > Parked, pulled handbrake, struggled with handbrake for another min, banged kerb while moving out
4. Vertical Parking > Parked too close to the right, did not pull handbrake this time round, but as I turned right out of the lot, the rear right wheel gently mounted the kerb (that's a tick in the full circle)
5. Driving outside> Tester: your outside driving is ok. Practice more in circuit and come back and try again.

Yaya knew all was lost when she finally released the handbrake at the slope. I just didn't expect my circuit to be THAT bad. Sigh. I was probably too gan jiong or too suay. Now totally no mood to even book retest date. Haiz.

6. After test, the sore throat before the test developed into flu, then fever (with accompanying MC), and finally a cough.

Still recovering from No. 6 (physically) and No. 5 (emotionally).

烦！

yaya always wanted to blog, but when I open the window, I just don't know what to say.
Maybe it's because I'm getting so old that I'm too sad to blog.
Maybe I'm too emo and I don't want to spread the emo feeling all over this blog.
There are just too many questions I'm firing at myself internally, and I'm not getting any answers.
There are just so many things I hate about myself and I can't resolve this internal conflict.

I'm vexed...
And There's No Way Out.

feeling lost...

yaya can't help it but feel really empty at times...
I've lost motivation, and never had any direction.

I know life's unfair, and I'd accept it, cos I can't change how others' lives work out. I want to change mine, but I never got down to it and it didn't go the way I wanted it to.

Life goes on, whether someone enters your life or leaves from yours. I knew it all along, but I'm afraid to see it happening again, though it has happened again and again.

Knowing what I don't want to do but not knowing what I want to do is getting me nowhere. I don't know how to continue and I'm waiting for some heavenly intervention which may or may not happen.

I've lost patience and I'm starting to believe somethings will never happen. I'm getting scared... of things I cannot see or feel.

Life's never fair.

24 days more~~~

yaya is counting down to the day I leave for Taiwan!
'cos there's nothing else to look forward to. (minus the goodies from online shopping I'm waiting for...)
I'm yearning for a day or two off work... and I'm so tempted to take leave! *argh*

YJ says my mood for the day ranges from "tired" to "very tired" to "super tired". I think it can summarized in just one word : "exhausted".

rumblings...

This place is becoming largely dead... As with its owner... haha~

Not the latest I've discovered about myself... But I now know how lazy I can be.
Many weekends have passed (I gave up counting) since I told myself I should start to exercise.
My clothes are lying everywhere but in the wardrobe, and it's a challenge to find something to wear every day before I leave the house.
My Jap is growing rusty, though I did try to revise sometime 3 weeks ago (forgot most by now).
I'm really interested to learn (a) driving, (b) keyboard, (c) guitar. Maybe after I'm back from Taiwan.
The Taiwan trip is one month away, and the itinerary is still "in progress" of becoming complete. Argh...

Work's piling as if I've been on leave forever. Everyday I learn to do "magic" - I'm supposed to produce something that should have been done some 12 months ago. I really wish I'm on leave forever and ever. Mondays are the dreadest ever... The last Monday I survived... I was in office till 11pm with no dinner, no aircon in office, lack of sleep and lots of leftover work for Tues and probably the rest of the week. *sigh* Fridays have lost their charm, and Paydays are now no longer marked in my biological calendars. Sunday Nights come with servere disappointment and withdrawal symptons - I tend to refuse to sleep until well past midnight. Oops... Just realised that's what I'm doing right now.

Still recovering from the lack of sleep last night. Luckily tonight YJ pei wo go watch movie ("Date Night" is pretty funny... good for a relaxing Tuesday night out!). At least I had something to look forward to on a tired Tuesday~ haha.

What I learnt today? The world is small...

hiding from reality...

I admit I've been real lazy... That explains why this space is almost dead... again. (lol)

I'm losing interest in too many things. Nothing seems meaningful anymore...
Sometimes I wish I can just be the irresponsible girl which I've been locking up deep inside myself.
Sometimes I wish I can stop dreaming and get back down to earth.
Sometimes I want to stake all my money (i hate gambling!) and get huge profits without deserving it.
Sometimes I really hate myself (why?).
Sometimes, I just want to hide in the black hole and never come out.

100 分

“爸爸，你看！我拿到100分哦！”

小时候的我，曾兴致勃勃地跟爸妈炫耀无数个100分。
长大后，却发现，现实生活中，根本没有所谓的100分。

职场上， 又有谁真的做到100分？又是谁有权力去评估每个人的实力与努力？
生活上，设么才是100分？ 有多开心、有多少钱、有多少人爱，才算100分？

小时候的100分，好像根本微不足道。

lalala~

My dearest sister always asks me "Why are you watching brainless shows?"

Well... Why would I want to waste more of my brain cells after work? Brainless shows are, afterall, brainless enough to let me rest mentally. Even if it's 101 times of the same storyline, in 101 different settings and probably just 30 odd different faces... I will still get my much awaited dose of entertainment minus the headaches PLUS I get to forget about the work~ hee

work really drains me out everyday... i really miss jy & yj~ darlings come back quick... I MISS YOU GALS!

The baby just came and left as her temper gets worse nearing her bedtime... *kawaii*

sometimes being a baby is so 幸福!

baby loves the aircon too! *grinz*

i want to fly~~~

Almost everyone is going USA!
Why am I stuck in this small island? *jealous*
我想飞，但我没有钱！
*cough cough*

depressed...

I don't want to admit it, but that's how I'm feeling now. And it's mostly, if not totally, due to the four letter word starting with "W" and ending with "K". I'm even 90% certain that the recent 39.1 deg fever on Monday is the unconscious reaction to the depression... maybe THAT is why the cough is still not subsiding...

*cough cough*

i need some light... to see the future.

1 in 8,145,060

yaya's dream: to become financially independent. [Financial independence is when you are able to live indefinitely without having to work actively for money.]

most probable & fastest way to reach that... Toto! But well.. what are the odds? 1 in 8,145,060.
The number looks scary and mysterious. But it is, afterall, just simple maths. And it's all explained here. OMG... It's such a simple concept but it took me quite a while to see it... REALITY.

yaya says bye to her dream 1.5mil... it was never meant to be mine.

Happy Birthday!

Yaya had a wonderful bday! (minus the fact that I'm older by one year, but I can always continue to deceive myself that I am 15 every year.)

I'd love to post photos of the pleasant surprise my colleagues gave me... (if only I can bring a camera to work) Thanks peeps for the balloons and card ^^ I was so touched to see the happy birthday balloon chain! Thanks!!!

I spent my half day leave with my sister~~~ and I've received a beautiful mirror from her! =) the music box thingy was really cool! It has many dots & as you wind it the music will play!!! We liked it a lot and my sister bought one for me! =) This one sings "beauty and the beast"~ *hugs hui* (if she ever lets me)

I'm playing with picasa to get the collage done... and its so hard! JY is so pro lah... all her collages look so pretty... mine's rather amateur... ok~ better than nth eh? =P

有朋友们的陪伴，但心里却是孤单的。
我有点害怕那种感觉，有点讨厌表里不一的我。
我打从心底庆幸拥有你们，但也不得不去在意，
和你们在一起时最孤单的自己。

是我太自私了，自卑始终战胜理智。

生日快乐

我不想再期待什么，因为我已期待了太久了。
我不想再许什么愿望，因为最渴望的，都没有成真。

生日，又让我再许愿，再期待一年吗？