sighz

haiz... finally find time to blog~ hahaz... NTU 50th Anniversary concert over~ tired~~ was a great performance! thanx all who came! =)

hmmm... sorry brainies.. i think my last post got u all too worried~ hahaz... dun worry... was emm... jus feeling bit left out n lonely sometimes... miss ya all lots... when's our brainies outing gonna b? =) sorry gals... this week seems like lots of us are busy... haiz... must meet up another day! miss ya~ muacks

~sigh~ thought over quite a bit recently.. i have come to realise many things... sometimes i really wish i have to courage to accept the facts.. sometimes i really wish i can jus let go and stop torturing myself... i'm learning... and i think i can do it... no matter how painful it is... i wont continue to hope~

i wish and i want to be... who i want to be.

wad if...

what if u think they are the most important ppl in your world,
but they dun even think u r important?

i dun care if the world hartes me...
i hate the world.

sick sick ~ cough cough ~

ahhhhhh! Junyang is out! and xinhui is out! wad the****~~~ so sad!!!! tot Junyang v gdlooking orh! yue kan yue shuai xing... =) n xinhui's performance was really impressive (minus the dress sense)... cant believe tong qing piao is so li hai! argh!!!!

haiz... anw, m back at home, cos was darn sick... so went to c the sch doc... hmmm... BUT the sch doc gave mi some lousy flu tablets (tt i take alot of times b4, and often dun work), some dunno wad tablets for throat (i think), vitamin C(oh pls...) and cough syrup(but he say dun take unless got flam)... n to top it off, doc said if u happen to cough out thick green flam, pls cum back and c him again and he will gimme antibiotics then... oh gosh... dun tell mi i must go see him again before i get well!!! *faintz*

was really darn sick since monday... it progresses steadily worse daily... sore throat > sore throat + flu > flu + fever > flu + cough... so i was really dying during comm meeting on wed nite.. hahaz.anw... m pretty much ok now, after quite a bit of resting... (yesh! i noe i m supposed to be off the comp n sleeping n resting more) hee hee... still quite angry(?) abt the tong qing piao thingy... m REALLY thinking junyang looks gd! hahaz... too bad... the world is never fair...

wishing for a miracle

i wish i can tell someone...
i wish my miracle will happen...
i wish i had more confidence...
i wish i had more luck...
i wish... i wish for jus the slightest hint...

s e l f i s h. m e.

I cant seem to put that thought outta my mind... I am so guilt-stricken...

I wish I have more courage.. I wish for some special powers... I dunno why but I have this FEAR for any creatures esp those that can fly... moths, kakars, flying ants, beetles, dragonflies... wadeva u name.. I freak at the sight of them... I hate myself for acting like a baby... but I can't control myself.. I am disgustingly timid... yucks... i guess the ppl ard mi are jus utterly sick of mi and my stupid screams and cries... I hate it too... They dun kill, i noe. I am so much bigger, I noe. but... I dunno y i react tt way...

Being in the C.O. comm seems not as exciting as I had thought it would be... I feel so guilty for rejecting their offer for the post of FC and creating so much trouble for them, creating so much unhappiness for the ppl I am really grateful to know... jus because I am afraid of facing the SAO ppl... jus because I tot being the SL will be more slack... jus because I am so selfish... now I dont even have any confidence that I can be a decent SL... for those who dun already noe, I SUCK at playing my own instru.. how to even lead the others? I dont even deserve to be one of them...

miss mi????

yo!!!!! miss mi????? hahahahahahaz ~~~

bin busy since the last time i blogged... (wa! so long ago!) hahaz.. yy lah... bugged mi to blog (she's in my room now! she forced mi stay wif her tonite!!! fri nite leh! hmmph... haha)... else i think i'll probably blog nex hols or sth.. wahahahahahaha... sch start le leh... sianz.. EEE subjects are so eeeeeeeeee...... haiz... nw i think wenyi's bioE more interesting by thousand times leh... luckie gt darling ning and peishi to go lects n tuts wif mi.. else u can expect mi to pon pon pon! wahahahaha...

m addicted to SPADES!!! jus learnt the game last wk! hahaz... while playing tong xiao at my hall (hall 15!!! new new! but alot of kakars and moths!! =( scared scared...) cum celebrating yuhui's bday... hahaz... now i play spades, internet spades, and yahoo spades... everytime i on my comp will definitely play one! wahahahaha... this is bad... nt healthy... hahaz...

oh! mi n wenyi got a fridge!!! lotsa drinks, choc!!!! yay!!! first hostel goal accomplished... nex one... TV??? hahaz... but nid $ and scared reception nt gd.. sianz... oh, nellers & associates having a steamboat session this sunday!!! yay yay!!! this time we have more ppl (the last time was CNY, before nellers was formed)... will be more more fun!!!! =)

this is getting long... but i guess it wld be good to tell everyone this... KICKBOXING is fun fun!!! hee hee... tiring yes, but really fun! punch punch kick kick! hahaz... n i went nite jogging wif yy and wenyi last nite! i decided i m really getting old n lacking exercise... couldn't survive the whole route... kickboxing plus jogging = aches aches aches... hahaz...

ok i m supposed to kick myself away fr the comp n stop playing spades! i really SHOULD be working hard this sem... nt easy to SUDDENLY take 23 AUz... (i prefer yr one 15 or 17 AUz slack slack) k lah... end here... =)